Imperial Dogs Reviewed In L.A. Weekly -- In 1990!

Since the L.A. Weekly's Internet archives don't go any further back than 1998 (!), we're forced to reprint the review of the Imperial Dogs' 1989 Dog Meat LP that Scott Morrow wrote for the alt-weekly's March 2-8, 1990 issue in its entirety:

"Unchained Maladies (Live! 1974-75). So sez the fancy, pic-packed jacket on this deluxe, pink-vinyl Aussie import. (They sure as shoot don't make 'em like this in America no more!) And just WHO are these Imperial Dogs anyway? Well, unless you were hanging out on the rock & roll scene in L.A. 'round about 1974, you probably don't know. Even then, you probably don't, unless you wore lots of leather and platform boots and dug Motor City-style high-energy rock & roll.

"This album is a documentation of the Dogs' first gig, 3/28/74, at (of all places!) Gazzarri's. 'Animals!' screamed club owner Bill Gazzarri's sister. 'We've never had such animals at Gazzarri's!' And they probably haven't had them since. So, fortunately, this gig was recorded for posterity, on a mono cassette recorder (tape restoration by the incredible Bill Inglot). The audience is making fun of the Dogs when they first hit the stage, but after a screaming double-time version of the Kinks' 'Till the End of the Day' ... fun they make no more!

"These Dogs -- decked in HUGE animal fur bell-bottoms, whips, chains, Iron Crosses, Spandex and scarves -- run their way through the four nasty songs from this sesh on side one (the 'Hollywood Side'), and six songs recorded in Carson on a stereo cassette recorder 'live in the garage' on side two (the 'Carson Side'), all featuring such classic early-'70s rock & roll subject matter as heroin (the William Burroughs/Albert King-vein 'Needle & Spoon'); Satan ('13 Sons of Satan'); the Nazi High Command ('Amphetamine Superman'); O.D.-ing ('Rock 'n' Roll Overdose'); more drugs (Uncle Lou's 'I'm Waiting for the Man') and hippie let's-go-up-the-country-get-my-head-together mellowness (on 'This Ain't the Summer of Love,' a Dogs song recorded by Blue Oyster Cult, in an almost unrecognizable version on their 1976 Agents of Fortune).

"Les Imps, all totally into Detroit rock like the Stooges, could be categorized as that vital missing link between the New York Dolls and the Sex Pistols, with a very heavy dose of Doorsian mystique tossed in. (Note for you 'Where are they now?' archivists, the singer is local rock/soul journalist Don Waller.) There were lots of close calls to fame, but nothing ever really panned out. It might have had something to do with the fact that no right-thinking club owner would let the Dogs play at his club, or that they had obviously 'unique' lifestyles. So this record, baby, is it.

"If MC5 means more to you than some lost equation of Einstein's, this is the big pink hunk of rock for you. Recorded in glorious Garage-Fi, it's not only a piece of history, but it also kicks out the jams. As the liner notes say, 'In retrospect, the Imperial Dogs were neither good-bad, nor evil. They were merely, tragically, and inexorably ahead of their time ... " I think they still are."